ELIZABETH—For more than a year, students in religious education classes at St. Mary Parish in Elizabeth have been preparing to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation for the first time.
The children’s focus and that of their instructors is on God’s mercy and how they forgive within their families, their friendships and how they might best celebrate that forgiveness.
“Peace be with you!”
With these words, from John 20 (19-23) the Risen Lord greeted his frightened Apostles in the Upper Room on the day of his resurrection. They were troubled, anxious, and fearful — much like each one of us at some point in our lives.
“Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins |
“At the beginning of the year we have a parent meeting and we explain to the families the importance of both sacraments: reconciliation and the Eucharist, and what is expected of them throughout the year,” said Norma Schwirtz, St. Mary director of Religious Education and Youth Ministry.
But families are an important part of a child’s preparation.
Schwirtz said Kay Frachay, who has been the sacramental instructor at St. Mary for many years, begins with the basics: the prayers and all the diocesan guidelines using “Faith and Life” from Ignatius Press, but then they take the instruction to the next level.
“We schedule a special time for the families — this year at St. Mary it will be April 27 — where the families and the kids come in and father does a special presentation on reconciliation,” said Schwirtz.
“He explains to the children what it means and then he does face-to-face with the kids.”
She said the children have been shown the confessional in the church and know it is not a scary box.
“The parents are asked to accompany their children on their special day and they also experience reconciliation,” Schwirtz said.
She said when the children see their parents receiving Reconciliation; the Sacrament becomes a family activity.
St. Mary then stages its first communion celebration with its May crowning festivities, on the first Sunday of May.
“We do a youth mass that day so that all our youth are involved in celebrating the sacrament with the new communicants,” Schwirtz said. “On that day, the first communicants come in and crown Mary.
They put flowers on Mary’s altar and we include all our first communicant’s families in some liturgical function at the mass; one might lector, another may usher, some are Eucharistic ministers and another family might bring up the gifts at the offertory.”
She said the families typically come to the altar to receive communion as a family. The younger children in a family receive a blessing and the older members all receive communion together.
Parents as servant leaders in Reconciliation
Brian and Jessica Engle’s daughter Avery will receive Reconciliation in April and then The Eucharist in May at St. Mary church.
Jessica said they have been preparing their daughter for nearly two years.
“We have always tried to lead her by example,” she said. “We both go regularly and we’ve tried to explain what that process is to her.”
She said they’ve taught Avery to talk with God throughout the day and, as part of that ongoing conversation, to present her sins to him and ask forgiveness.
“The way we’ve talked it through with her and her older brother Bryton is that God is loving and merciful and He will forgive our sins and Reconciliation is the formal process that we go through to do that,” she said.
She said that teaching their children to really think hard about acts that may require forgiveness is a priority as well as a major responsibility for them as parents.
“They are still very young in our eyes and have a hard time knowing what needs to be reconciled and what might just need to be discussed before it becomes a much more serious issue,” Engle said.
Penance
Avery Engle explains penance given in Reconciliation as a means of good balancing bad.
“Two people had to go to the principal’s office in my school for fighting in the hallway,” she said.
“They both had detention and in a way that is their penance or at least a chance for them to think about what they did wrong.”
Her father Brian suggested she kiss and make up with her brother when they fight as a form of penance, but she thought that might be a bit over the top.
Schwirtz said during the Lenten season everyone involved with the religious education program at St. Mary church devotes considerable energy explaining the importance of sacrifice.
“Kay spends a lot of time discussing venial and mortal sin on each our young people’s levels and how we are all sinners and need to confess and that father is a representative of our church community and God and that’s why we go to him for Reconciliation,” she said. “We teach them the traditional Hail Mary and Our Father and we’ve been teaching them the Fatima Prayer.
She said penances vary with each child.
“Sometimes Father will give them a prayer and other times the penance is doing something good for someone else in addition to the typical prayer in order to share the experience of personal forgiveness and regain grace,” Schwirtz said.