Probably everyone has seen or or read or heard that movie star Will Smith slapped comedian Chris Rock onstage during this year’s Academy Awards show.

 

More characteristic of him than that slap were Smith’s quick-to-happen, formal apologies, at least one of which admitted that his action was not in keeping with the man he hopes to be.

 

As with all things nowadays, condemnation of Smith has been swift. And indeed everyone should agree that Smith was completely out-of-line, and some kind of punitive action should be taken by the Academy, perhaps banning him from attending the awards for a set number of years.

 

There has not been much flack, however, about Rock’s glib and uncalled-for insult of Smith’s wife, which prompted the slap. In fact, ticket prices to his first show after the awards skyrocketed, and Rock received a standing ovation from that first audience. 

 

Rock also has not been criticized for his lack of apology to Jada Smith, who has publicly shared that she now shaves her head because of a medical condition that causes her hair to fall out in patches.

 

Should Rock get a ‘pass’ because it happens to be that medical condition? What if she had lost her hair to chemotherapy? Would his snarky remark be okay in that situation also?

 

I have to suspect that Rock is not being held accountable for his words because so many people are guilty of the same kind of uncaring treatment of other people, and because the damage caused by peoples’ hurtful tongues is not usually visible to the tongue-flappers.

 

But the damage from mean-spirited comments exists nonetheless. That harm runs deeper into victim souls than the brief stinging sensation experienced by Rock’s cheek.

 

All of us at some point in our lives have almost certainly said hurtful things. Little kids’ brutal honesty can and should be forgiven and gently corrected. But once we are old enough to understand the potential of our mouths to inflict injury, we are accountable for our words.

 

Those include the huge volume of horrible things said on social media. It is not limited to teenagers bullying one another. Adults — including Catholic adults — are quite adept at self-centered, entitled speech aimed at people who are doing their best with what they have to work with. One would hope that those all-knowing, Catholic anonymous are making a beeline for the confessionals. They are nameless online perhaps, but their names and words are known by God.

 

God is the one being ignored in verbal assaults. We forget that He knows who we are, and that He loves those we target. We don’t think about Jesus, or about what He would want us to say. We miss the point of the time He gives for us to work on problems and dilemmas with love and respect for the other.

 

While I am glad that Chris Rock is big enough to not press charges against Will Smith, I so wish he would be adult enough to publicly admit he was rude, and apologize for hurting Jada Smith with his thoughtlessness. 

 

And I really wish Rock would embrace a different kind of comedy — one that would set a good example instead of validating bad behavior.

 

Smith remarked early on that another actor had warned him that the devil will attack whenever you reach a peak moment. Smith didn’t listen hard enough to that wisdom.

 

But, we all have room for improvement. Do we give life with our words and actions? Do we honor God and others with them? 

 

All of us, famous or anonymous, can and should think on how we can do better. And, whenever possible, we should apologize.