Where are You Seeking Happiness?
By John Jelinek
The sensorial delights of Christmas have passed. The excitement of family gatherings, joyful music and gifts are gone. And, instead of cheerful cards, the mailman brings chilling bills. It can be a hard time to find happiness.
But happiness is something God desires for us. Pope St. John Paul II said we are “made for happiness” and because God made us for it, we “thirst for happiness.”
Recognizing this universal desire, the Catechism of the Catholic Church quotes St. Augustine, saying, “We all want to live happily; in the whole human race there is no one who does not assent to this proposition …” (CCC 1718).
Every decision we make, whether it is for good or bad, is because we perceive it will bring us happiness. Not all sources of happiness are equal, and a person can easily destroy their life seeking happiness in the wrong way.
Drawing from Catholic philosophers and theologians, Father Robert J. Spitzer writes extensively about happiness. He identifies four levels of happiness.
The first level of happiness is achieved through material goods and pleasure such as food, drink, comfort and many of our basic needs. This happiness is short-lived. Think of your favorite meal. During the meal, it gives great happiness yet several hours later you are hungry again.
In its proper place, there is nothing wrong with happiness derived from this level. However, when it becomes our primary source of happiness, it quickly leads to materialism, addiction, gluttony and lust.
The second level of happiness arises from comparing ourselves to others. At an early age, we begin to measure ourselves in opposition to our peers: who is the fastest, prettiest, smartest, or most popular. When we are on top, we are happy; when we are not, we are sad.
Unfortunately, we seldom outgrow this. As adults, we simply compare different things: wealth, possessions, influence, career, beauty, etc. This source of happiness is exhausting and perilous, as it is always in flux. No matter what, there is always someone that has more. Social media fuels a comparative misery par excellence. Millions of people post idealized photos of their life, leaving millions of people feeling envious and inferior.
Our culture operates almost exclusively in these two levels of happiness. However, pursuing happiness through material and comparative means is a futile effort that turns us inward and ultimately leaves us empty. A self-centered life lacks meaning and purpose. It is no wonder there has been such a dramatic rise in unhappiness over the past few decades.
The third level of happiness Father Spitzer identifies is contribution and compassion. This is the place of family, our parish community and genuine friendship. Instead of turning inwards, we see the good in others, the image of God, and choose to serve it.
If you have ever participated in a charity, you know the great joy that flows from it. Likewise, the selfless love required of us in family provides a deep security and happiness. This happiness has an endurance unknown to the previous two levels.
Recently, I visited with some young adults that during their teen years served on our parish mission trips. They spent a great deal of time joyfully recalling the work they had done for others. It was remarkable that even a decade after their service, it was still a source of happiness.
The highest level of happiness comes from our relationship with God. He alone is capable of being our rock and supreme happiness. The whole world can fall down around us, and yet if we are rooted in our relationship with God, we can still have joy. This relationship is built in prayer, reading Scripture, sincere conversation with God and encountering Him in the sacraments.
In these last two levels, we find purpose and meaning for our lives. We find communion with God and our fellow man, the fruit of which is enduring happiness.
From which level are you seeking happiness?
For more see Father Robert Spitzer’s book “Finding True Happiness: Satisfying Our Restless Hearts” or check out his articles at magiscenter.com.