Every year after publishing the Lent fast and abstinence regulations, we sometimes receive questions about them. Most of the questions center on who is obliged to fast, and specifics of what can and cannot be consumed during the fast or what it is exactly Catholics are to abstain from.

According to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, we are to do the following:

Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are obligatory days of universal fast and abstinence. Fasting is obligatory for all who have completed their 18th year and have not yet reached their 60th year. Fasting allows a person to eat one full meal. Two smaller meals may be taken, not to equal one full meal. Abstinence (from meat) is obligatory for all who have reached their 14th year.

More exact direction can be found in Canon Law 1250-1253. You can find this in the revised code or you can just search for Canon Law on the Internet and sift through it.

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, you can find information about fasting in several categories: fasting as the evangelical law, 1969; fasting as a form of penance, 1434, 1438, 2043; and, fasting as a preparation for receiving communion, 1387.

Then, of course, in Scripture itself fasting is covered throughout, but specifically in Matthew, chapter six. The scriptural instruction on fasting sits right next to prayer and almsgiving.

So everyone should know what to do, right?

Well, not always. Because we are human we sometimes fall short of what our faith teaches and we are even guilty of sabotaging ourselves by not setting our personal expectations high enough.

This is why I find it irksome when I hear people talk about how they can’t wait till they are this age or that, so they are not bound by the rules of fasting and abstinence.  I get irritated the same way I did when my children were small and, when hanging out with other Catholic parents, realized others did not bind their children to the rules of Lent until they reached 14. None of this should bug me  because no rules are broken. But I think the attitude is.

Now, I’m not trying to say that I am more pious than others. On the contrary, I probably have more sin on my shoulders than those of you reading this; however, I believe the practices of Lent are all about attitude.

If you approach Lent as some kind of a bar to be raised, akin to a new year’s resolution, a rule or obligation that you begrudgingly follow, then you are sure to arrive at Easter with relief but no real joy.

The attitude of Lent should be one of expectation. Expect to learn something. Expect to become something new. Expect to find Christ in a new light. I have always interpreted the instruction in Matthew 6:16 as one of a happy commission. To me, it means to make your Lenten promises and sacrifices to God and do it with a happy anticipation, never revealing your difficulty.

One of my favorite lines in a movie is from “A League of Their Own” when Tom Hanks says of baseball, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, then everyone would do it. It’s the hard that makes it great.” I think that applies to the season of Lent. In difficulty we can find truth, light and faith if we just stick with it and embrace the difficulty without letting the difficulty embrace us, forcing us to criticize the task.

We just have to make room for God. And if that means giving up the cookies, cake or cursing, then so be it. If that means remembering to pray a little more or going to Mass on weekdays, then give it a try. And if you find that adding a chore or some charitable work helps bring God closer, then go for it.

It is not so much about what you do, or what you give up, it will all rest on the attitude you take while you do it.

If we share the attitude of our Holy Father, I am convinced we all can arrive at Easter with joy and a renewed spirit worthy of a resident Christ.

“When we make room for the love of God, then we become like Him, sharing in His own charity. If we open ourselves to His love, we allow Him to live in us and to bring us to love with Him, in Him and like Him; only then does our faith become truly ‘active through love’ (Gal 5:6); only then does He abide in us. (see 1 Jn 4:12)”

— From Pope Benedict XVI’s Message for Lent 2013