Pain is a part of life. That may seem like a pretty trite statement but we all know that it’s true. We also know that there is tremendous amount of time, energy and financial resources spent on eliminating or, at the very least, minimizing pain in our lives. There are books, research studies, new procedures, new methods to keep us healthy and pain-free. We even have lots of prayers about pain and “a happy death.”

Avoiding pain begins the day we are born and our parents are the first teachers about pain and its lessons. As moms and dads, we never like to see our children experience pain. We relish the day that kids become old enough to tell us “where it hurts,” so we can ease or eliminate their pain. We kiss their boo-boos, slather on ointment, pour in medicine and apply Band-Aids so we can put pain in the past.

However, every mom knows that in every family not all pain is created equal. What parent hasn’t responded to a blood curdling scream only to find out the source of the outcry was a sister that “won’t stop looking at me.” And there are the sibling slug-bug battles in the car that get out of hand and, as a parent, you don’t intervene despite the mind-numbing monotony because you know that the length of the game is strictly regulated by the one willing to put a stop to the repeated blows to the same spot.

Parents also know that whether the pain is imagined or real, sooner or later each and every one of us has to learn to deal with it. And of course the most important and sometimes most difficult lesson is knowing the difference between the real or imagined pains of life. Any parent who doesn’t let a child cry, fall and get up without rushing to rescue will surely reap the consequences.

Learning to cope is the most basic survival skills we have as humans. Learning to get up is never accomplished without falling. Laughter is always sweeter if you know what it’s like to cry and the air of grace is freshest after emerging from a cloud of doubt.  

The way we cope with physical, emotional and spiritual pain not only depends on what and how we are taught, but it also depends on how we approach and practice our faith.

Last week Bishop David Malloy celebrated a Mass with the people of Rochelle who were affected in one way or another by the recent tornados and severe storms on April 9. So many people had a new kind of pain thrust upon them by the power of nature. Horrific scenes of damage and destruction can lead us to ask why would a loving, merciful God, who created heaven and earth and made each and every one of us in His likeness, let this happen to His creation and to the children whom the Gospels tell us God loves so much?

Bishop Malloy had a response that prompted me to think about the place of pain in our lives and in God’s plan for us. He said, “There is something about suffering. God would not allow it if there weren’t something in it for our good.” At first I thought, wow, that doesn’t sound too merciful to me. But then, I thought about the lessons of pain I have learned along the way.

It is in the falling that we rise. When our skin breaks our bodies begin a miraculous chain reaction to help heal it. When the earth is scorched it somehow is renourished and comes alive beyond and despite the ashes. This goodness in the face of adversity is all God’s doing and we can never appreciate one without the other.

All this helps show us that suffering can be a gateway to the grace of faith and, as Bishop Malloy said, “our opportunity for the best in us.” Our faith can’t bandage or medicate our pain but it can help us learn and how we can embrace it. Our faith can help us turn pain to good lessons in healing rather than letting pain embrace us and keep us from the wonder of God’s will.

Yes, pain is a part of our beautiful God-given lives. And God, like a good parent, is there for us when it hurts.