BATAVIA—”Consider joining the Servants of the Holy Heart of Mary as an affiliate, or servant companion, or consecrated lay woman, or prayer partner, or vowed sister,” said an announcement in The Observer that drew at least one person to a “Come and See” breakfast event on Feb. 7.
The Servants of the Holy Heart of Mary (SSCM) sisters have developed various programs that allow and formalize ways for lay Catholics to be a part of their community. Each was developed to help the sisters share their charism with others.
At the early February gathering, a handful of people who are living the different options spoke at a breakfast held for those who wanted to inquire about becoming connected to the SSCM sisters in a significant way.
Sister Evelyn Varboncoeur began the discussion by sharing a bit about the idea of “charism.”
The SSCM charism, she said, “comes out of the lives of our founders; this is a heritage that we’ve received.” It includes “the lifestyle, the value we live by.”
One way to look at charism, Sister Evelyn explained, was to look at the three values that the SSCM live by: faith (“the work of the Spirit”), self-giving (“by which we give ourselves to God and God gives back, and we accept what God gives us”), and a family spirit (most noticeable in the sisters’ hospitality).
She also spoke about a view of charism as “a sense of presence … to be called and to respond where we’re needed,” before concluding that “charism is a gift” that is shared with others.
Sister Kathleen Mulchay then briefly spoke about the SSCM as an apostolic community with the aspects of faith (primacy of God), community (the SSCM motto is: “One Heart, One Soul”), and mission (based on the mystery of the Incarnation and “how we are Christ in the world”).
Vowed Sisters
Annemarie Davies, age 28, is the newest SSCM candidate who entered the order on Oct. 4 last year. She explained to the breakfast group that she was part of an online discernment group run by SSCM vocation director Kathy Brady-Murfin since 2020.
“I never thought about religious life,” Annemarie said, adding that she “never knew a nun. I didn’t know you could even pursue it.”
After earning a master’s degree, Annemarie took a formal step toward becoming an SSCM sister.
“It’s been a really amazing experience so far,” she said, adding that “the sisters became family as soon as I hopped on the zoom call … (and) as soon as I walked into the door at my ‘come and see’” event.
“It’s been very joyful. … It’s been challenging, but in the best way possible. In these four months, I’ve definitely grown as a person, as a Catholic woman. I still cannot believe I entered … ‘Oh, I did this!’ … I feel so happy … I’m so excited for the life ahead.”
Annemarie is one of two candidates in formation with the SSCM. Candidates in many religious orders are much younger than others in their communities. Annemarie and other young women who are in formation attend intercommunity gatherings, meeting with and developing friendships with others like them in various religious communities.
Becoming a vowed sister is a permanent commitment after a several year discernment period.
Servant Companions
Monica Pham lived in Dallas, Texas, and was “searching for something,” she said. She connected with religious communities through Vision Network. She put in her criteria (over 40; divorced, adult daughter) wondering “What kind of community would accept me?”
In 2023 her daughter married, and Monica applied to become a vowed sister with the SSCM. But “after a year of candidacy, I just (felt) I don’t have that call,” she said. “The servant companion is more like me.”
Monica now lives with the “so supportive” sisters in Batavia. She begins each day with Mass, then works at a job outside the SSCM community, and returns each evening to eat dinner with the sisters before retiring.
“I benefit so much from living here,” she said, describing how the women talk with each other, pray together, and meet for a monthly reflection day. “I think that since I’ve been here, my relationship with God and other people is at a totally different level,” Monica said, adding that she has more “compassion for other people.”
Servant companions make an annual, temporary, renewable commitment to this life.
The SSCM options of a vowed sister or servant companion are open only to women, but the following options welcome men as well.
Consecrated Laity
Anne Fuller spoke about her call as a consecrated lay person.
“You know it’s right when you get excited about something,” she says of her annual commitment as an SSCM consecrated lay person and her private vow of celibacy. “What is important to me is how am I as a consecrated woman (to) live out that charism.”
Anne lives at home and cares for her mother and her brother. She felt she had a vocation, and when some religious sister friends told her they thought the single life was her vocation, she felt a profound response.
This SSCM option helps lighten her fears about loneliness, she said. A book titled “Single for a Greater Purpose,” helped solidify her quest.
“This fits,” she said simply of her particular connection to the SSCM. “It was really profound … it happened to me and was what God was calling me to.”
It’s a leap of faith at each year’s recommitment, she said, adding that “God will provide the life that I need … God is changing me to become love and where I can express it.”
Consecrated laity renew their promise annually.
Affiliates
Kathy Brady-Murfin (above) is an affiliate as well as vocation director for the SSCM. She is married. She was an affiliate for a few years, then had to leave because her commitments to work and family made it impossible for her to attend the monthly meetings. Her life now has rearranged, and she again is an affiliate member of the SSCM.
Sister Evelyn works with the area’s affiliate program. She explained the program — which began with the local SSCM some 40 years ago and has spread to nearly all of the SSCM provinces in the U.S. and abroad.
Affiliates are lay men and women living in their own homes who come together periodically. Currently 19 women gather monthly in the Batavia area; this year they are discussing the rosary.
Affiliates attend an orientation program. The commitment is to promise to gather monthly. At each meeting, there is prayer with readings and sharing. A one-day private retreat is held each year.
An annual mission or ministry is shared; this year members give food to an interfaith food pantry.
Community is the third component of the affiliate program. “This group goes wild over community,” Sister Evelyn says. A program and discussions are followed by a time for making connections with fellow affiliates. It is, Sister Evelyn adds, “a wonderful group of women” who support one another in their challenges. Each December’s meeting includes some extras including a special prayer and white elephant exchange.
There are about 60 affiliates in the U.S. There is also an online program for affiliates who move away or otherwise can’t attend meetings. This way they can continue to participate and still be affiliates, says Sister Evelyn.
Affiliates renew their promise each year.
Delaplace Prayer Ministry
Finally, the SSCM has a prayer ministry through which men and women share in the prayer life of the SSCM. A newsletter provides ongoing formation, guiding participants in their personal prayer lives as they reach out in prayer to those in need. There are 65 people currently in the prayer ministry who live around the country.
In February, the monthly mailing included a prayer for the sick, prayer intentions for the pope, for ill SSCM sisters, for deceased family friends and benefactors, for healing, for a list of others requesting prayers, for special intentions, and for provincial council prayer intentions for the month. Recipients also were sent an explanation of the Jubilee Year of St. Francis and the plenary indulgence, along with a morning and evening prayer for the month and a letter from Kathy Brady-Murfin.
The SSCM sisters wear a slender blue pendant with a white cross. Each of the other options have their own medal: a heart for the consecrated laity, a round medal with a cross for the affiliates, an outline of a woman walking for the servant companions, and praying hands for the prayer ministry.
All different, yet all connected and living the charism of the Servants of the Holy Heart of Mary.
