“Reaching mom” is a good topic for this Mother’s Day weekend. Most mothers, when they become mothers, are joyful for the baby in their womb and their new identity as “mom.” Yet not all new motherhood is greeted with joy.
As shown by the Virgin Mary, motherhood is a grace-filled embrace of both the gift of life and the heart-piercing sword. Some mothers can focus initially only on the sword. It takes time for them to realize that the gifts of new life are undeniably greater than any sorrow and surrender necessary in the process.
This Mother’s Day, let us remember the mothers who do not want to be mothers.
In an outreach to these mothers, the Diocese of Rockford began sidewalk advocacy ministry outside of the Maray Drive abortion facility in Rockford one short month ago on April 10. We run the Sidewalk Advocates for Life (SAFL)-Rockford program in partnership with the Pregnancy Care Center of Rockford and the Rockford Family Initiative. SAFL is a national, cross-denominational Christian organization that presents a way to bring the love of Christ to abortion-minded women and men and to save the lives of both mother and unborn child.
Our volunteer advocates receive training and commit to one-hour shifts standing in the public right of way outside the abortion facility’s entrance. The advocates prioritize messages of love and care for the mother.
The SAFL advocate’s initial message is not that a baby is a human being with full dignity from God and should not be aborted — which of course is the truth. Instead, SAFL advocates frame their initial conversation with moms using research-based messaging that considers the thoughts of typical abortion-minded women.
Moms who abort their babies are making an irrational, emotional decision that they often later regret. But at the time, it is not a moral decision. Thus, using moral arguments to try to stop the abortion can be less effective.
The typical woman considering abortion is in crisis mode. Her greatest desire is to dispel her fears, whether they are fears of losing her own identity and dreams, or fears of bringing up a child in a dysfunctional environment. Amid her panic and cognitive dissonance, she sees an abortion as the lesser of two evils. Even if she knows that abortion is wrong, she sees the option as causing less harm to her or a better option to raising a child amid broken circumstances.
The advocate approaches this mom with love, sharing the message that she is stronger than she thinks, and that real material resources are available to help her choose life. Free resources include the PCC of Rockford just around the corner or other local pregnancy resource centers, abortion pill reversal information, food, housing, mental health assistance, etc.
Responses to our advocates run the gamut from moms and companions who ignore our waves and smiles and drive into the facility’s parking lot, to those who pause for a seconds-long conversation. Sometimes the advocates’ message sinks in after the clients enter the facility causing moms to quit the place. Other times, despite the conversation, moms proceed with appointments.
If a conversation continues beyond the first seconds, advocates can move to the next priorities: sharing the reality of the sacredness of human life and the sure presence of our loving God.
The priority of messaging may seem counterintuitive to us, people of great faith. Yet, it is important to do as Jesus taught us, to be prayerful, humble, servant leaders, who know the hearts of those we evangelize. We must be open to using multiple ways to bring the message of Christ to those most in need of His love.
If you are interested in serving as a sidewalk advocate or supporting this ministry, please contact us at [email protected].
