This time of the year we find ourselves bombarded by images of hearts and flowers and other reminders of the celebration of St. Valentine’s day. Somehow all of these things are supposed to be expressions of our love.

Expressing that love is a very good and necessary thing. While there is nothing wrong with expressing it in some of the more typical ways like sending flowers and candy, I wonder if at times we lose sight of the everyday and sometimes less exciting ways that we are called to demonstrate our love.

There are certainly those cultural voices who tell us, directly or indirectly, that love might at times involve setting aside “old fashioned” or “outdated” moral values or conduct. Or that we should “expand” our concept of love to include behavior which Scripture and sacred tradition have always seen as seriously wrong.

We know that entire industries and movements exist which have as their primary commodity and message, an image of love which has nothing to do with Christian morality. But I dare say that any message which seeks to market love, or attempts to redefine it apart from basic Christian morality, misunderstands what love is altogether.

We know all too well that a more “modern” concept of love primarily involves feelings of affection, of romance. This relegates a central virtue, motivation and goal of the Christian to a mere emotion instead of a deeply held inner conviction. However, as any long-married couple, faithful priest or martyr knows, love is far more about choosing what is truly and ultimately good (for others and ourselves) than it is about trying to be true to our feelings at the present moment.

Love will often mean choosing what we know to be right when it would be easier to choose otherwise. It will sometimes mean saying “no” to something we might much rather say “yes” to. For the Christian it will certainly mean sacrifice — including sacrificing at times even the fulfillment of our own personal desires.

Jesus’ total gift of self on the cross remains the surest sign of his total and undying love for us. His love is inseparable from his sacrifice. His love leads to his sacrifice and makes it possible. His sacrifice teaches us what true love is and the kind of love we are called to imitate each day.

No saint ever found great holiness without great sacrifice. Likewise, no saint ever saw the expression of love and morality as unconnected or mutually exclusive. Rather, each one would undoubtedly speak of the intrinsic connection between the two.

To live morally is itself an expression of love. Living in an immoral or sinful way not only inhibits our ability to grow in holiness, it is in some way a failure to love. Every moral choice that we make can be said to be a choice to express love. If I choose to tell the truth instead of a lie, am I not in some way showing love to the other person? Wouldn’t telling a lie actually show a lack of love toward that other person?

If I choose to be faithful to my spouse, am I not choosing to love them in that moment? If I choose to obey God’s commandments, am I not in some sense expressing my love to Him? In fact, doesn’t morality really serve as a guide that helps me know the most loving way to act in any given situation, since it is really a guide as to how God (who is love) would want me to act, or how He made me to act? In contrast, isn’t every sin somehow a failure to love — a failure to love God or neighbor or myself?

The more we live in a moral manner, the more we are showing love at an ever deeper and Christ-like level. Christ’s perfect love is only possible because of the complete absence of sin in his life.

The more I choose to do good and avoid sin in my life, the more loving I have the potential to become and the more love I am showing along the way.