At face value, it appears rather straightforward: listen to and show respect to your parents. However, upon closer examination, we begin to see that it involves more than simply our relationship with our biological or adoptive parents. 

 

Although it isn’t mentioned specifically, it also presumes parents are carrying out their responsibilities to their children. As simple as it may sound initially, it has rather far-reaching implications for us as Christians. 

 

One of the first things to note about this commandment is its placement among the others. Jesus reminds us in the Gospels that loving God “with all our heart, soul, mind and strength” is the greatest commandment. But He goes on to say that the second great commandment is to “love your neighbor as yourself.” 

 

Further, He tells us that all the other commandments depend on these. While the first three of the Ten Commandments deal specifically with our relationship to God, the fourth begins to offer instruction as to what our duties to other people are. 

 

It is no coincidence that the first commandment given to guide our love of “neighbor” deals with the first relationship we each have with other people — our parents — those who are directly responsible (along with God of course) for our being brought into this world. 

 

Since the gift of life that we’ve received has come through them, there is a basic recognition and appropriate gratitude that is owed for this fact alone. This is true even if they were to fail in every other aspect of their duties as parents. 

 

At the very least, the fact that our existence is tied directly to them makes them unique and indispensable participants in God’s plan for us. 

 

Building upon this, there may also be myriad other reasons for which children owe their parents respect and gratitude, assuming of course that parents are fulfilling their parental duties reasonably well. 

 

The fact that not all parents are good parents brings with it special considerations concerning following this commandment. (Some of those will be looked at in a subsequent column.) 

 

Nevertheless, beyond the obvious relationship mentioned in this commandment, it also provides basic direction for our relationships with other family members, such as siblings, grandparents and extended family members. 

 

The Fourth Commandment also forms the basis for our relationships with other legitimate authority figures in our lives  — be they teachers, coaches, pastors, employers or civil authorities. Just as there is an obvious tie to our earthly parents, so too does this commandment recognize that as social beings we are each enmeshed in a series of relationships where respect is owed for the responsibilities others have assumed on our behalf and for our benefit. 

 

The interplay between these two things — respect and responsibility — really form the foundation of any well-functioning society whether that society is the nuclear family, a school, the larger local community, or the nation as a whole. 

 

As such, living the commandment well helps to ensure peace and cooperation at every level. Failing to live it well can create problems for all involved. 

 

This is connected to something else associated with the Fourth Commandment,  namely, the promise that is included with it. In both Exodus and Deuteronomy (Ex 20:12 and Dt 5:16) we hear that “honoring our father and mother” will translate into our days being “long in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” 

 

While this can be interpreted in different ways, we can see a certain logic behind it. Fulfilling our responsibilities and showing proper respect for those who fulfill theirs can lead to a more peaceful and prosperous society, regardless of its size. 

 

We’ll look at this, and other aspects of this commandment, in greater detail in future columns.