In the last column, we began looking at the Fourth Commandment and some of the relationships it encompasses. 

 

One thing mentioned was that this commandment also presumes parents are fulfilling certain responsibilities toward their children. In fact, the Catechism of the Catholic Church spells out these responsibilities in detail (see CCC 2221-2231). 

 

Included in these duties would be the more obvious ones, like providing for the material, emotional and spiritual needs of their children. It also includes things like proper education — especially education in the faith. 

 

While it is true that in our modern world the bulk of the traditional education (math, science, reading, etc.) given to most children (other than those being home-schooled) comes through a formal school setting, education in the faith works a little differently. This is something that cannot entirely or even primarily be given to someone else to do. Rather, it is one of the paramount duties that a parent has. 

 

Religious education in a school or church setting can only go so far. If the parents are living or teaching something vastly different than what is being taught in a religion class, then there is limited hope that the truths of the faith will be absorbed by the children. This is something that nearly anyone involved in religious education will attest to. 

 

For example, a child will have a difficult, if not impossible time learning the importance of the Third Commandment if his or her parents never go to Mass. Most confessors would be able to tell sad stories of young children who confess “missing Mass” and express sorrow for doing so because they learn the importance of Mass in religion class but have no one who takes them on Sunday, or have parents who make other activities a higher priority. This underscores a fundamental problem that deals not only with keeping of the Fourth Commandment, but will also make it difficult to pass on the importance of keeping other (if not all) Commandments. 

 

Parents have the responsibility to not only ensure that their child is provided those things which can help them to live well in this world, but is likewise given an upbringing which can help them to live forever in the next. 

 

Granted, every child still has free will so it is not in the power of any parent to force salvation upon them or guarantee it. However, it is incumbent upon parents to provide the necessary education and example that will expose children to the knowledge and virtue that can lead them to it. 

 

This may mean parents have to deepen their knowledge of the faith for the betterment of their children. It may also mean that they have to re-examine the example that they’re setting for their kids and make adjustments if necessary. As the Catechism points out in this regard: “Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their kids” (CCC 2223). 

 

Certainly, no person, and no parent, will ever be perfect. Mistakes and weakness are a part of the equation for all of us. Nevertheless, striving to provide the best example will itself be a powerful example of the importance of living the faith one professes. As the catechism says, the responsibility is to provide a good example, not a perfect example. 

 

This is also connected to another responsibility that both parents and children have toward one another with the Fourth Commandment. And that is the responsibility to be evangelizers to each other. While the parents will have the first opportunity to do this for their kids, children also grow in this responsibility toward their parents as their faith continues to grow. The aforementioned example of Mass attendance can be one such instance. It can be, and it sometimes is, the child who eventually convinces the parents that they should attend Sunday Mass. This also can hold true for other parts of living the faith.