An article late last year described when, out of curiosity, a man with same-sex attraction went for the first time into a Christian church — and came out knowing Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

 

His whole life changed completely, but not because he was suddenly transformed into someone with heterosexual attraction, which had not happened. Everything was different because his new relationship with Jesus became his core identity, and that was what mattered to him. He realized that he was a child of, and a servant to, Christ. That was how he now saw himself, and how he now would live.

 

Most of us could benefit from that kind of understanding. Hopefully we are well on our way to seeing ourselves as belonging completely to God.

 

St. Teresa of Avila describes a person’s soul as being like a castle filled with rooms, and the spiritual life as a matter of traveling through the levels or stages of this castle to its innermost core, where God resides. We can take that idea and picture it vertically as a matter of going deeper down inside.

 

Sadly some people plant their feet in the very shallow level of “being what we possess.” Possessions include tangible riches, but also the possession of power and influence. It is a place where what matters most is money and status and control. This is a precarious place of identity, often threatened as people age and circumstances change.

 

Other levels of identity will vary in depth depending on each individual. Some people, if asked who they are, will respond with their occupation. They may be teachers (or doctors, lawyers, artists, etc.) to the core. Their careers define them, at least while they are most active in their work.

 

Other people stand upon their ethnic heritage as being their utmost identity. Whether they focus on their race, inherited traditions or their ethnic group’s values, that place is where they feel they belong.

The level of sexual orientation has become how many people in our society now identify themselves.

 Instead of viewing their male or femaleness as one important aspect of their being, they take it as their key and core identity.

 

But there are two even-deeper levels of being.

 

The second-most deep is our common humanity where people are aware of being profoundly a member of the human race. Some of the selfishness we notice in life may have us wondering how many share that awareness, but many people do sacrifice in visible and invisible ways to benefit others.

 

The deepest level of being — being a child of God — is at the core of Teresa’s castle. It is when we live as our true self with and before the One who created us. 

 

God’s power and love is necessary for us to reach and live at this level of being. We are able to place ourselves at His disposal in many ways. 

 

Sometimes, like the man described above, we unexpectedly receive grace and courage so we can enter situations new to us and discover God-with-us. 

 

More often such a conversion comes after we have given time to prayer and in saying “yes” to new, probably sacrificial experiences.

 

For example, we may listen to Jesus and decide to forgive someone we don’t want to forgive, and we keep trying until we manage to do so with His help.

 

We can decide to take advantage of some of the many things our Church provides to help us toward holiness and that realization of belonging to God first and foremost. From the sacraments that provide concrete graces to the saints who can inspire our actions, there is a wealth of “tools” we can access as Catholics in this quest for God.

 

The Rock that is Jesus is the most solid foundation we can find for our true identity. It would be a very worthy quest in this new year to uncover our deepest level of being — and deeply live as beloved children of God!