The sense of fulfillment is a tricky thing. Like a sense of comfort or of satisfaction, fulfillment can get in our way of doing God’s will. 

 

Hopefully, doing God’s will is an overarching goal for us. That goal doesn’t come automatically, but it is a quest that becomes more and more prominent as our faith grows.

 

But feelings of fulfillment are no more an indication that we are doing God’s will than riches are. We recall Jesus’ teaching about how hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God. Riches are not bad in and of themselves, but money does have an ability to captivate human beings, leading to greed, pride and quests for power — none of which honors God.

 

Even if not indulged to that extent, for almost everyone riches get in the way of our following Christ. It is one of those things that is always something of a threat to our God-centered service because it is distracting at best, addictive at worst.

 

Ditto fulfillment.

 

Feelings of fulfillment can be addictive. It is, after all, a heady, happy feeling that lingers a little longer than many good things. If we’ve worked hard a sense of fulfillment is all the more sweet.

 

But some excellent times of service to God are not necessarily going to feel good. It would seem logical that being a good and faithful servant to God would lead to us being fulfilled. Maybe we will at the end … but on the path of following Jesus, that is not what it’s all about. 

 

Also people can be filled with a sense of fulfillment when in fact they are not doing God’s will. Given the skewed values of much of the world and society today, that seems inevitable.

 

In other words, as lovely as the sense of fulfillment is, we can’t measure our faithfulness or true success by it. 

 

That is sad in a way, but also something of a relief, including for those of us who take on difficult tasks that cannot be completed any time soon but must be done and just go on and on and on without much solace.

 

Knowing that fulfillment is not important when following Jesus also helps those who are not respected by others for sometimes silly reasons. There are plenty of people who often feel invisible and unproductive even though they are doing their very best at work and at home. Family, work, and people in general can make things difficult, and we may wonder if we are making any good difference.

 

It also may be reassuring for everyone whose career aspirations have been hurt by a lack of natural gifts, or unexpected responsibilities, or other disruptive possibilities of life. But still we can serve our Lord wherever we are, in all circumstances, even if our service seems trivial and heartbreakingly difficult.

 

A saint who comes to mind who embodies for me a lack of fulfillment is St. Therese of Lisieux. When she died, a fellow nun was heard asking another what on earth would their Mother Superior write about in her letter announcing the death since Sister Therese hadn’t done anything.

 

Therese had many desires to do great things. She wished she could be a priest, an apostle, a doctor, a martyr, a Crusader … But instead she pictured herself like a featherless little bird who only could stare out where she had glimpsed Jesus, unable to fly to Him or accomplish His works. She did not feel strong, or capable, or accomplished, or fulfilled by her official vocation as a Carmelite nun.

 

After her death, however, her new “Little Way” of service to God spread its message of hope around the world. In a way, only then were all of her desires fulfilled.

 

We can’t allow our hope of fulfillment to derail our service to God. It’s not about us, but truly about Him who loves us and who ultimately will fulfill us beyond all imagining.

 

Therese concluded that her vocation was love — great love lived through small ways. After all, God Himself is love.

 

If we focus on His love, the presence or absence of fulfillment cannot derail our “good and faithful” service.