Many long years ago, a question was asked that I have never forgotten. During the weekly visit of one of the priests to religion class in grade school, the point of discussion was the complete and endless joy with God that we will have in heaven.

One of the students, however, raised her hand and asked how it would be possible to be completely happy if it should come about that a member of our family or a good friend did not make it to heaven?

In other words, how could we ever be completely happy if someone we loved was in hell?

The question is still of interest because our own era is marked by a notable decline in the practice of the faith. That decline involves many lessening or even abandoning their participation in the positive actions of faith such as attending Mass, going to confession or even praying at home.

The decline is also characterized by moral confusion and an embrace of things contrary to the teaching of Jesus. There is, for example, a rise in atheism and in the adoption of immoral lifestyles, especially in the area of chastity and sexuality.

These matters are important because Jesus has told us that many will be called but few will be chosen. He has warned us that the gate to heaven is narrow and that not everyone who calls out, “Lord, Lord” will be recognized as worthy.

It is very possible that as we strive to be found worthy of Christ, others around us will fall away. And that may include members of our own family or other loved ones. So what answer might be given to that young girl’s question?

First, we must not only love God, we must also trust Him. He has promised us fulfillment and happiness. As St. Paul says, “Eye has not seen, and ear has not heard … what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor 2:9). We have God’s promise to make us happy.

Additionally, we tend to judge joy or happiness by the standards that we are familiar with, those of this world. But even now, we do not fully understand our very selves and therefore what will make us truly happy. Fundamentally, we have been made for God.

What is at least partially concealed from us now by sin and human limitation is that our earthly happiness is only a hint of the happiness we will experience when our will is one with God’s will and with His judgment.

It is also true that God’s love for us is pure. And it is the nature of pure love that it will not force itself upon the beloved. It is meant to be freely given and freely received. It is our great dignity as human beings, the highest of God’s earthly creation, that we are free to love God (or tragically not to love Him).

We are also free to accept God’s love (or tragically to reject it). In short, God respects our freedom by giving us a lifetime to choose for or against His love. But that decision, ultimately, is ours.

Jesus Himself demonstrated His respect for our freedom during His time on earth. After teaching about His true presence in the Eucharist, that it is His body and blood, we are told, “As a result of this, many (of) His disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied Him” (Jn 6:66).

Our task is to love Christ and to love Him truly. He lived among us to show us how. And He established His Church, subsisting in the Catholic Church, to guide us through the ages. Part of our task also is to pray for others and to encourage them in their own spiritual struggles.

Jesus has told us that either heaven or hell are possible for us, depending upon how we live in this life. Endowed with all the graces and helps from God that are needed to reach His kingdom, each of us makes that choice. That is the exercise of our free will that is part of God’s love.