BATAVIA—A gathering on April 28 started with a handful of people who already are trained to serve victims of domestic violence, mostly through Mutual Ground shelter in Aurora.

As they waited for others to come, Father James Parker, chatted with them about the brand-new Hope and Healing Ministry at Holy Cross Parish in Batavia.

He had spoken at the Masses April 18-19 to introduce the ministry and to encourage parishioners to ask questions and take resource materials from an information table in the lobby. People had done so.

But grabbing a brochure is not the same as attending a meeting.

“I’m not 100 percent surprised that no one is here,” Hope and Healing organizer, Gael Hanauer, said.

Domestic violence can be an uncomfortable topic, she added, and people may be interested but not yet ready to see what the ministry might be about, or perhaps they are afraid they’ll be seen as victims.

But a few moments later, two women walked into the room wanting to help others escape the kinds of abuse they suffered in the past.

Not all who volunteer to help with domestic violence ministry have that personal experience. Others are like Patty D’Arcy, who serves as a hospital advocate, meeting with abuse victims who end up at area hospitals, telling them about Mutual Ground.

“We give them the control to make their own decisions,” D’Arcy says, even though victims may decide not to pursue safety for themselves.

Because a victim’s decision to return to an abusive situation often puzzles those who have not experienced abuse, the activity for Hope and Healing’s initial meeting was a workshop developed by the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

That “In Her Shoes” activity provided participants with color-coded cards featuring persons they were to “become.”

Victim cards described women and men who were young and old, healthy and ill, native or new to America, gay or straight — a cross-section of society. Participants with cards describing parents of young children received a “child” to carry — a book wrapped in a blanket.

Beginning at a station called “Abuse Happens,” each person received a bandage and a color-coded card briefly describing the abuse.

They chose from options provided at the bottom of that card and moved on to another station (Hospital, Police, Court, Shelter, Forgive and Forget, Clergy, etc.) to read another card.

The activity continued in that manner, helping participants to gain some insight into the challenges faced by victims of domestic violence.

One station was actually called “Flip A Coin” to illustrate how a phone call unanswered can change the course of events.

The end point for one “In Her Shoes” person was an apartment, a new love interest and a cat named “Luna.” Others also finally escaped their abusive partners — except one participant who wound up at the station called simply “Funeral Home.”

All of the people described by “In Her Shoes” are real people, and the cards reflect  their journeys.

Sadly, similar trials happen to people everywhere, across all economic and educational levels. Domestic abuse afflicts both people who are unchurched and those who are devoted to their faith.

“People feel like they’re trapped,” Father Parker says of victims who have come to him for advice. “It’s like having a curse they have to break through.”

His priestly vocation likely helps some and hinders others who seek assistance.

“I didn’t know how the Catholic Church felt about domestic violence,” one of the victim volunteers said.

Another echoed, “If I had known what the Church believed, it would have helped me.”

Both of those women did eventually find the courage to reach out to their churches.

One met “a wonderful lady” at the parish office who helped her.

The other said, “I don’t think I ever got bad advice from a priest.”

Unfortunately, unhelpful advice from priests, ministers, neighbors, relatives, friends and strangers happens. That’s one reason why a ministry like Hope and Healing at Holy Cross Church can be important.

As one of the victim/new volunteers said, “This is so amazing. I wish this had been there for me.”