ROCKFORD—The health — or illness — of a marriage is at the heart of an annulment, Msgr. Glenn Nelson told  more than 75 people, Jan. 31.

“In-valid,” he said, stressing the end of the word “doesn’t mean (a marriage is) not real. It was in-valid.

It was injured from the beginning.”

Msgr. Nelson, Vicar General and Moderator of the Curia for the Rockford Diocese, came back to the the idea of the health of a marriage several times during his talk.

What the Church is looking for in the process, he said, is whether the marriage “took” on the wedding day.

Were both parties really free to marry? Were they open to  having children?

 Sometimes, he said, the answers to these and other questions of validity may not become obvious for years.

“An annulment goes back to the day they were married to examine whether the condisions were really present. ... Marriages fall apart over time because — sometimes — all these things really were not present.”

He talked about how important it is for people to be ready to hear what an annulment is about. Without being ready, the words will not reach the hearts of those who might be helped, healed, by the process.

He also explained that some people, including himself, are “not made for marriage.” His twin brother, he added, was made for marriage and is a husband and father.

His humorous stories lightened the tone, allowing him to explain the conditions surrounding a “healthy” marriage before going into what makes an “unhealthy” one.

Questioners wanted to know when an annulment is required, how long it takes to get one, how often one is granted, and what questions are asked among other things.

Near the end of the evening, Jennifer Collins, director of the Life and Family Evangelization Office, asked him what someone who was interested should do next.

“First, pray,” Msgr. Nelson said. “This is a difficult process, but the Church is here to walk with you.”
He said anyone could begin the process by talking to a diocesan priest. Again, he compared the process to health care, calling the priests “general practitioners,” who could, in effect, refer them to the specialists at the Tribunal.

Collins, whose office organized the event, said the turnout has her looking for opportunities to schedule the talk, “Annulments: What the Catholic Church Really Teaches,” at other locations.

Maureen Grzelak of the Marriage Ministry at Holy Family Parish in Rockford was among the volunteers for the talk.

She thinks the room, provided free for the talk by Tavern on Clark, made all the difference.

“I think it was a success,” she said, “because it wasn’t in a church.”

Brian and Kate Piatek drove from North Aurora where they belong to Blessed Sacrament Parish.

Brian is active in the RCIA program, acting as a sponsor for a man interested in converting. Kate is the parish bookkeeper.

They came to learn the answers to questions that come up in conversations, both in RCIA and with other Catholics.

“It’s good to have the information,” Brian said.