Each October, the Church marks Respect Life Month, a time dedicated to helping Catholics understand and value the sanctity of human life and build a culture that cherishes human life at all stages. 

 

Heavy on my heart this October are the many women and men who suffer from a past decision to abort a baby. As you read this, please keep those suffering from such grief in prayer. If you are suffering yourself, know the certainty of God’s mercy and forgiveness. 

 

We have heard the argument that abortion is a right. In truth, abortion is trauma — to the unborn child, the mother, to others in their lives. One definition of trauma is an event outside the normal experience. No matter how long abortion has been legal or part of our culture, it cannot be normalized because killing a child is not normal. 

 

The darkness of grief surrounding post-abortive women and men could include guilt and shame; grief that cannot be shared; depression; low self-esteem; suicide; withdrawal or alienation from others; fear of God’s punishment; eating disorders and self-punishing behaviors; sexual dysfunction; problems bonding with other or subsequent children; deep anger; sleep problems; alcohol and drug dependency; spiritual desolation. The list goes on, and in the present day, the impact experienced by post-abortive women and men is far from affirmed.

 

Here is the Good News. 

 

St. Pope John Paul II, wrote directly to women who have had an abortion in his 1995 encyclical Evangelium vitae, or the Gospel of Life. Men hurt by abortion can take these words to heart as well:

 

“The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. … But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. … The Father of mercies is ready to give you His forgiveness and His peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child” (no. 99). 

 

In a recent presentation for diocesan life offices, Sister Mercy Marie, SV, proposed three tools to strengthen the Church on its mission to minister to post-abortive women and men. These tools can be helpful to those grieving from abortion as well. 

 

The first tool is prayer. “In the encounter with the living Lord, we come to know ourselves: beauty and sin,” said Sister Mercy Marie. “Let prayer be our sustenance.” 

 

The second tool is community. In both ministry to the grieving and in the journey of healing itself, we need each other. I encourage all who are hurt by abortion to reach out to the Church’s Project Rachel ministry. It can be the first step toward reconciliation with God and self-forgiveness. Project Rachel’s confidential helpline in the Rockford Diocese can be reached at projectrachelrockford@gmail.com or 815-387-3379. 

 

The third tool is radical dependence. Sister Mercy Marie said: “We are invited to radical dependence on Jesus. Abortion is promoted as a choice that will quickly remove all the inconvenience of the pregnancy. But it is just the opposite. … No sin can condemn a life indefinitely. We must surrender to this truth of radical dependence on Him to be the ground we stand on. He invites us to let go.” 

 

Dial 988 to reach the national Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.