One of the trite little catch-all phrases which seems popular today is “you do you.” Sort of a kinder, gentler way to ask others to mind their own business while we mind ours.  It’s also a phrase to convey the message to others that you wish to be left alone and unjudged. Which I guess is fair enough. After all, as Catholics we know that God is the one true and final judge of our character, thoughts, words and deeds whether they are all good or mired in sinfulness.

 

However, as human beings, we know that we do judge others in a way. The actions and lifestyles of others communicate things to us and likewise, our actions communicate parts of the equation that sums up our personhood.  After all, that is how many friendships are formed — we find out that others have similar interests to us in what their habits and actions convey and we gravitate to them because we too have those habits.

 

I recently had the privilege of addressing all those who have recently been hired to work for the diocese in some way during the annual New Personnel Day. Each year, I remind the newly hired that no matter what job they have been hired to do, they are also now all Catholic communicators. 

 

Whether they are teachers, principals, administrators, parish employees, support staff, maintenance professionals, accountants or musicians they also become communicators. By virtue of their employment, they represent the Catholic Church to others. Because of that, it is important to reflect on how ‘you do you’ both in your job and in your life away from your job. 

 

I challenged each of the employees to think about their actions, attitudes, demeanor and treatment of others and what that might say to others. I asked them to consider if they are an example to others about being a Catholic or a warning.

 

And I think this is something for each of us to consider each and every day. 

 

We need to work on our own example and perhaps help others be better examples too. We can assist others in the ‘you do you’ universe by changing how we approach and deal with them.

 

For example, years ago when I taught high school religious education at our parish, I asked the students to close their eyes and call to mind the person in school, or even at church, that they most disliked. Then we went around the room sharing the reasons for disliking that person or the reasons they made us mad or uncomfortable.  It was surprising how easy the laundry list of all the negative attributes came forward from each of the students. 

 

Next, I asked the students to again, think about that person but this time I asked them to think specifically about naming one thing — just one — that was positive about that person. But this time, instead of sharing the attributes, I asked the students, since it was the beginning of the Lenten season at the time, to take that positive thought and turn it into a sincere compliment for that person. It meant that during the next few weeks, they would need to approach their nemesis and give them a compliment and do so once a week if they could. At the end of Lent we would share what happened. In almost all instances there was positive transformation, which of course was the goal of the exercise. One of the students even found that the reason for their negative feelings was based on perception and not reality and that they and their former perceived enemy actually had more in common than not.  The exercise, at least for a while, helped them dispel judgement and open the door to communication and understanding. 

 

I still use this little exercise. It helps remind me that God is the creator of all … not just me. And even though I ‘do’ me, I still, as a child of God, need to give care and compassion to others even if they request that ‘you do you.’

 

Our faith is all about how we do it.