Q. What is a good confession and how can I make one?
A.  The general idea is that one should, from time to time, make a clear and unambiguous confession of his or her grave sins to a priest and receive absolution. If one is conscious of being guilty of grave sin one must confess before receiving holy Communion.

What is a grave or mortal sin? A grave sin is specified by the Ten Commandments. A grave sin is one where all of the requirements for gravity are fulfilled, and the person who did it has to have sufficient and full consent of the will.

We must make a good faith effort to confess to the priest each and every grave sin according to their kind and number.

I say again that we have to make an honest effort to inform the confessor, as nearly as we can, of the kind and frequency of sins, but it is not necessary to become neurotic over it.

But keep in mind what is stated in the Catechism of the Catholic Church and quoted from the Council of Trent … “if the sick person is too ashamed to show his wound to the doctor, the medicine cannot heal what it does not know.”

It is helpful to read the Ten Commandments to prepare for confession. You can also use an examination of conscience at your parish and on our diocesan website.

Some people even find it helpful to write out their sins, especially if they are nervous or if one has been away from confession for a long time.

If you make a sincere and honest confession — recounting those grave sins — and intend to improve all of the sins, that is a good confession.

Some people like to confess venial sins according to their kind and number also. Though this is not strictly necessary, it is recommended and is a help toward rooting these sinful tendencies out of one’s life.

People often ask how often we should go to confession. The Church law says that we must go at least once a year if we are conscious of being in a state of grave sin. It used to be said that for the average
person confession once a month is a kind of a useful pattern. Putting off going to confession is like putting off going to the dentist; it never reduces the inconvenience or discomfort. Frequent confession has the effect over time of helping us to overcome our faults and failings because confession is a sacrament of the new law and it confers grace to avoid sin in the future. God is merciful and gives us the graces that we ask for whenever we sincerely do so. And of course, the more frequently we experience that grace, the better we become at avoiding sin allowing long lapses between confessions.

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