Q Are Catholics obliged to have Masses said for deceased relatives or friends at certain times?

A There is the custom of having Mass said for the deceased person on the third, seventh and 30th day after death or after burial. That is a custom, not a requirement.

An anniversary Mass is a nice custom but it too is not really required.

It is our custom in the United States to offer Masses for the people who are deceased. For people who have large circles of friends or large families, you can get an avalanche of requests for Masses.

That is a wonderful thing to be remembered in such a way; however it creates a minor problem for the priest because priests are to accept a limited number of stipends at a time. This rule of the church regarding stipends will be covered in an upcoming column, as it is a rather complicated rule and the Code of Canon Law of the church (C945-958) explains it quite well.

But back to the first question: even though there is no rule or requirement regarding how many or for how long Masses are to be celebrated for the deceased, it would be nice to remember that person as if he or she were still on this earth, just as you would certainly remember a friend on their birthday or anniversary. So it might be nice, for as long as you are able, to remember a deceased person on the date of the birth and the date of their death.

And of course, remembering them in your heart as you celebrate daily Mass and in your daily prayers is an especially good practice as well.

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